If · the · world · could · see · my · thoughts · they · would · think · i · was · insane

i often wonder about the lives of others. the random people i see walking around home depot. i wonder what about their story. i look at the people shopping alone. i wonder if they live alone, or if they live with others.. i wonder if people do that to me too... i giggle at myself, because sometimes i make up stories in my head about the lives of people i see walking around, which is quite fun sometimes :)

sometimes i need you to just be there for me... allow me to vent, allow me to feel... your not letting me and this is when i need you the most... i have so many emotions flowing through me, and its coming out in anger, and i'm sorry that you are caught in it... please don't judge me... please forgive me.

i'm sorry... i really am...

My world is shifting. My life is changing. I feel like i'm waiting for that cortisone shot at the doctor. You know its coming, and while it will be painful, the end result is that it will make everything better. I know this will not bring us down. I know that we are stronger than that. Its still painful.. i will soak in this day, and remember everything. Your smile. Your laughter. Your speech patterns. Your stories. Your piercings. Your tattoos. Your hugs. The way the sun hits your face, and that expression you give when the sun is in your face. ... everything. I will trap these memories in a bottle, and they will forever be a part of me. You will always be a part of me. No matter the distance. No matter the reason. Let us smile, laugh, love like we never have before.

so after some thought and some self analizing i have decided that i'm going to try my hardest with being a sign language interpreter. my understanding of the program is this: i take 3 classes at georgia perimeter, and get a certificate. i only need to take one class at a time, which will work well with my work schedule. i can take a tuesday/ thursday or monday/ wednesday class. i may be able to start in the summer, if not i think i can also start this in the fall. i plan on stopping by the campus tomorrow after work and asking some questions. i hope it works out. i have a real need to be back in the classroom. i want to do more with my life than sling plants. i know that i'm better than that. there are a few out there who will support me, and to those i say 'thank you'.

finals finals finals are on many of your brains right now, good luck with those. for some graduation is a day more than a week away. congratulations! know that you are all in my heart.

there are few things that are perfect. i have been lucky enough to experience perfection. i may not have all the money in the world, or the best car... but i'm so very lucky. i have a family that loves me, and who will do anything to help me... friends that will listen to me babble, and that care for me... i have a roof over my head, and a warm bed to sleep in... i have dreams that will come true... i have perfection, in the most pure of forms. i'm lucky, and happy, and full of smiles.

thank you all for giving me pieces of perfection in your own very special ways.

if one continues to think, and fret about the mistakes they have made, and the way people reacted to them many moons ago, than one will not see that things have changed... there fore one will not appriciate what is staring them right in the face.

why is it so hard for some people to thank others? i find it irratating and disrespectful to not say thank you when one notices that something nice has been done for them... a simple thank you. i don't give a damn how you were raised or what you've been through, just say thank you. it doesn't hurt. stop being so prideful and give a thank you when someone does something nice for you... just a thought.

i feel like being home, in my bed... be able to drive myself around by myself, and be the 'grown up' that i am in atlanta. to be around people who know me and appriciate what i do for them... to share a giggle, to hug, to share a meal... things that i miss right now.... perhaps i'm being melodramatic.. i'm in a pretty sour mood right now... i'm coming home in a week... friday night my plane should be landing around 8:30pm...

a few good things that have happened since i've been here... i've started and completed a knitted penguin that i have affectionately named pierre... he's cute i think, and while he has imperfections i think perhaps that is part of his charm... he sits on the nightstand here, and he makes me smile when my day has been crappy, which have been aplenty. he will go to marik and hopefully will have the same effect on him. i've also started a kitty. that one it still a work in progress, but i think will turn out well. this one will go to iggy, so i really really hope it turns out well! so yay knitting! i think knitting is a wonderful way to show affection for people... i hardly make things for myself, and i'm okay with that... i like making my friends happy, and if this is how i can do it, than so be it... it makes me smile 10 times more to see them smile.

i suppose that is all for now. finals are coming, if they haven't started already... good luck all.